Into the Abyss

Walking about in that abstract something called life

It just hits you. From out of nowhere. Walking around minding your own business and it strikes you hard and relentlessly from an ambush. Life. I don’t know if it’s supposed to be like that or if I should be disturbed.

Can’t really figure out what’s going on and it kind of puts me off track. Not that I’m certain what it means to be on track though. Or where it is. But I’m definitely taken by surprise.

And I’m surprised I’m still able to be surprised. And frightened. And loosing the grip. Fumbling to take hold again. To take back the lost control. I suspect though I’m not ever getting any control. Because it simply cannot be controlled.

It’s like walking into a deep forest in the darkest of nights. Whispering shadows. Words not recognisable. A crack of a branch. Movement. Fear takes hold. Close to panic. I’m defenceless and vulnerable. But I resist. And stay. The chest exposed. The mind opening.

Life is entering the unknown. Reaching the void. The ground underneath dissolving. Floating in the abyss of darkness. Not knowing what to come. Or what to do. Realising there’s nothing to do but follow along. A total loss of control.

Then I open my eyes. And I realise I have to let it come. I have no choice. It’s unavoidable. And It’s right there. The light. And I make a choice. I choose the red pill. I choose life.